a small list of gay slurs that non mlm cannot reclaim and should not be using

+ history and meaning behind them!



I would like to start off by saying that due to the tendedency for particular words and phrases to "trend" on stan twt, many people may have been using these words in an unintentionally derogatory way, and that it that is okay because you were unaware at the time. HOWEVER now that you have been educated on the meanings behind the "slang", if you are not a male loving male / enby loving male you should acknowledge the fact that you cannot use these terms.



fag/faggot

This one is possibly the most well known word to avoid, but in case you are unaware on the history I am here to enlighten you.

While the word "faggot" in it's literal sense means a bundle of sticks, it has been widely used since the early 1900's as a defamatory term for homosexual men as a means to effeminate them.

This comes from the 16th century origin of the word "faggot gatherer", which was used as an abusive term to refer to poor and elderly women who often made their livelihood by gathering firewood (bundles of fags). From this, the word faggot began to be widely used as a term to "sissify" homosexual men, and equate them to the "weak outcasts" of society.

Additionally, the term "fagging" began to be used in the 1800's as a way for young boys to refer to those who were hired to perform sexual duties for other (often older) boys, giving the word a sexualized context which spread across European countries to the rest of the world.

trans women may also reclaim this word if they wish



limp wristed

Limp wrist by definition is a term used to describe gay men as people "who do not behave in the strong and determined way traditionally expected in men".
(I hope that you can see why this is obviously offensive.)
This term is used against (often feminine) gay men as a way to stereotype them simply based off of their presentation or actions.
The phrase is also popular (along with the offensive gesture that goes along with it) for it's use in sexualizing mlm as the action of a "limp wrist" refers to the act of sexual relations between gay men.



fruit/fruity/fruitcake

The fruit slur has had multiple meaning throughout the years, all of which are still used today.

In the 19th century, the term fruit was used to refer to "an easy victim", which then became a term used to refer to gay men in the 1850's with the rise of gay slang. The term then began to carry the meaning of "a soft, tender, effeminate" man.

The slang "fruit" then became even more popular in the 1900's as a slur for homosexual people, with the term "fruitcake" (often shortened to fruit) becoming a way of calling homosexual's "crazy" or "abnormal" (i.e. nutty as a fruitcake).

By associating homosexuality with "crazy", we then see the rise of "cures for gayness" begin to appear. Those who were deemed "fruitcakes" were then thought to be mentally unsound, causing many homosexual men to be sent to 'doctors' for castration, lobotomies, electroshock treatment, nerve surgery, and those who were deemed "incurable" were then institutionalized in asylums.



flamer/flaming

This term is derived from the origin of the word "faggot" as a way to say that gay men should burn or "burst into flame".

The word is now commonly used as a stereotype for gay men. For example, if someone were to say a man is a "flamer" or "flaming" they would be referring to the bigoted idea that all gay men are "very flamboyant, wear a lot of bright colorful clothing, are loud and upbeat and are noisy or annoying".

(Both wlw and mlm may have their own versions of this term it is dependent on context.)



fairy/pansy/sissy

The term pansy and fairy are used by definition as ways to describe "someone very pathetic and wimpy".
These terms are used to demasculate and stereotype (mainly feminine presenting) gay men by saying that they are somehow weak by implying that there is some sense of "immaturity" associated with homosexuality, and that they "aren't real men".

trans women may reclaim the term sissy